Weddings And Historic Houses

A Post

Anyway, the wedding was a huge hit, the weather was perfect, the ceremony came off without a hitch, the food was excellent, and the band was very entertaining. They played Dixieland jazz, standards from the 1920's and 1930's and the crowd did go wild. Seriously, everybody was dancing and not that phony-baloney wedding dancing either. I'm talking conga lines around the tents. Yeah. Like that.

The wedding made me think of a funny story my pal Bob told me. I met Bob and his wife Cindy after I wrote about their house for three separate articles. They live in a gorgeous, updated version of a Georgian-style, colonial five part house that's about 60 miles north of where this wedding was held. Bob's an ex-navy pilot committed to precision and discipline but who knew he could also be funny? Below is Bob's account of a wedding that he recently hosted for his son and daughter-in-law. Bob is not the type to exaggerate so I take these as facts.

Scott and Jessica’s wedding events:

1. Tuesday morning - 4 sub-contractors in the bathroom at one time trying to finish basement prior to house guest arrival

2. Painters are painting on the way out the door as the 50 day/25 night guests arrive Wednesday

3. Bride notified Thursday of $4K contract error; ends up in bed with cold compress

4. Father of groom steps in to handle; solves but ends up in bed with cold compress

5. Fifty five people for rehearsal dinner (father of groom doesn't even know 55 people) none of whom read directions on how to get there; drove all over Annapolis picking up stragglers.

6. Told creation story from Genesis where God, after creating man, heaven, earth, animals, plants, fish, etc., rested on the seventh day. Then he saw that man was lonely and so He created a woman and neither God nor man has rested ever since.

7. Saturday. Weather starts out perfect. Tents, caterers, gardeners, hair- dressers, make-up artists, sandwich deliverers, circus performers, etc arrive in such numbers that there has to be valet parking

8. 4:00 pm. Guests start arriving for 5:30 wedding; doesn't anyone read?

9. 5:00 pm. One of the groomsman comes running down the driveway just in from the airport, sweating and as he races by asking where he can change so he’s not late for the 5:30 wedding

10. 5:20 pm. Starts to rain lightly; harpist panics and has to move her harp under the front door foyer; knocks three ushers down who tried to help (note to self: never touch someone's harp)

11. 5:30 pm Miracle of miracles all are seated, wedding party all in place, rain pauses, and the wedding starts on time. Everyone does great and no rain for the entire ceremony

12. 5:50 pm. Ceremony ends, rain begins and 100 plus in the house

13. 6:00 pm Rain ends, sun comes out and we are able to coax people out to the pool area for drinks and hors d'oeuvres

14. 7:30 pm. Dinner starts, rain starts but everyone comfortably seated under the tent looking out over the water

15. 7:35 pm. Wind starts up at just below gale force so guests jump to drop sides of tent (like the Visa add, the cost of the tent was priceless)

16. 7:55 pm. Wind dies down, food is served (delicious) and the rest of the dinner and night is spectacular and crisis-wise uneventful

17. 12:00 pm. Scott and Jessica come outdoors to drive away in expected Mercedes and find the John Deere lawnmower awaiting (Grooms dad believes that no woman can resist a man on a Deere); Mercedes follows but still felt the Deere had more class

18. 1:00 am. All non-housed guests are gone (25 of all sorts and types still housed all over) and two tired parents go to bed

19. Next morning almost all join us for breakfast (will it ever end?); Jessica's brother misses flight; Groom’s dad’s position is that there is no way he’s not leaving today

20. 11:00 am. Scott lets us know that he can't find his passport; wife Jessica now in bed with cold compress (see pattern here?)

21. 11:00 am – 12:30 pm. House torn apart looking for passport. Father of the groom digs through 32 large bags of goopy trash (old fish, bottles, etc.) and with the elation of a pearl diver who just discovered the big one, finds passport one hour later in the absolute last bag of trash; Bob, father of groom in bed with cold compress

22. 1:00 pm. Bride's parents and 2 sisters and family leave; prayers of Thanksgiving are offered

23. 1:30 pm. Cindy and Bob take daughter Shelly to the airport. Pulling in to driveway on their return home, they are greeted by a large fire truck with flashing lights and extended hoses; Caterer had dumped old coals into forest area next to the house which starts a small forest fire which fortunately Scott saw and called 911

24. 6:00 pm Sunday. Cindy and Bob leave to take Scott and Jessica to the airport after learning they were an hour off on the departure time - the wrong way of course. Bob flies to airport as no way are they going to stay the night

25. 7:00 pm Cindy and Bob arrive home and take welcome sign off the door.

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